Saturday, June 13, 2009

Determining what works and what doesn't

So I have been thinking over what I need to do to reach the goals that I set yesterday. What's going to work for me? I've been at this for a long time, years of trying to lose weight, trying to 'get in shape' (which really, in the beginning, meant trying to lose weight, who am I kidding?), trying to be happy with what I see when I look in the mirror. And I have learned a lot in those years.

I've learned that exercising a few times a week and not being mindful of what I eat doesn't work. I've learned that counting calories does get results at first but then I become completely obsessive. I make myself crazy and measure everything in terms of calories and food and completely freak out when something crops up that makes me stray from my plan. After the freaking out, I then binge for an indefinite length of time, beat myself up about it the entire time and eventually force myself to go back the calorie counting and attempt to restrict my calories even more to make up for the binging. Rinse, lather, repeat. Obviously, that doesn't work. Or it perhaps gets results, at least temporarily, but it is in no way healthy and that doesn't work. I've learned that restricting whole food groups doesn't work. I've learned that shame and guilt and negativity towards oneself doesn't work.

I've learned that focusing on fitness and exercise as a means to become a person with more, strength, endurance and stamina does work. I've learned that finding exercise you enjoy and then striving to personally excel in that area does work. I've learned that mindful eating does work. I've learned that positivity and encouragement, focusing on the good - that does work.

I've also learned that there is nothing wrong with what I see when I look in the mirror.

I am learning to be at peace with that person, with myself. It's not always easy but I am trying. I am learning to have goals but also love myself as I am. I am learning to see myself through other people's eyes. I still have a lot left to learn.

I have taken what I have learned and tried to used that information to help me come up with a plan, or series of plans, to help me reach my 7 goals. That plan is nearly ready to post. Expect to see it tomorrow!

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